did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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