Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
