tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
