I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize
