I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
