The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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