awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize