She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I'm just crazy horny about you
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
