my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
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