Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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