People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
