New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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