I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize
