He disabled his match.com account in front of me
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
