addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
