How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
