i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
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