if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
