sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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