I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Randomize
