Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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