We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Randomize
