I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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