I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
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I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
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I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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