Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
