Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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