Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
