the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize