at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
