So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Randomize
