what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
