You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
