Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
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