I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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