Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I have tasted many bathrooms
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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