I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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