worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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