Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
