Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
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just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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