Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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