I cockslap morals
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
