He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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