he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
