I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
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