Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize