I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Ambien. No doubt about it.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
