now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
are you so shy because you have an std?
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
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