Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize