What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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