i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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