remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Randomize
