worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
