omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
