just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
