I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize