There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
