all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
