so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize