Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
