I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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