I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Randomize