where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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