Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
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