a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
